in the middle

Some say being an all rounder is best in life. But is it really?

Today i got my hsc results, and they were satisfactory- but it feels like all my friends around me got amazing scores. Im happy for them :) i really am - but i cant help but feels so mediocre.

So since i was already in a  bad mood, i go on tumblr- and surprise surprise its filled with geogous models, nd again i look at myself and feels so average.

Uni selections are coming up soon, and i dont know what to pick - because i dont know where my talents or interests lie.

Sometime is think life would be so much easier if you were gifted in one thing and crap at all the others.

Then you know what you'd do with your life.

Whereas now i feel so average like nothing stands out like i don't suck at anything but there are always those that are better.

Just stuck in the middle.

change overtime

AS tomorrow HSC results come out it fully marks the end of high school and any realtion i have to that period of time.

I thought back to my first day. . . . and realised everyone i met on that day. . . i no longer talk to. . . .
Some . . .
- Just drifted
- Moved to another school
- Completely hate me.

Then i reflected on my close friends in junior years. . . .  and how most of us have drifted in other directions.

I remember long ago when we used to talk about who would get a boyfriend first.
Now most of us have/had them - But we never talk to each other about them

We used to talk about each others weddings and how we'd be each others bridesmaids.
But the reality now seems that we wont even be invited.

We talked about finishing HSC together and going schoolies together
But now we either went schoolies with other people or didn't go.

So this led me contemplate friendships.

You can either be a puller or a pusher.

Ive been both

THE PULLER
- The person that always wants to maintain the friendship
- The person thats always enthusiastic

THE PUSHER
- The person that creates distance due to selfish or selfless reasons.

About 3 years ago i had a group of friends where i was the only puller and i kept trying and trying to keep us together making group convos and creating events. . .  till one day i agve up. . . and as you can guess we drifted .

Sometimes i ask myself if i should have continued trying.

And now more recently i find myself a pusher , i dont want tog et too close to people , and i dont really care about keeping people together. . . and now as a result i find all these once important people drift further and further. . . . .

It feels like time really does change things , while i miss all those hopes and friends.

I see them happy. . . . so i guess i should be happy too?

So why do i keep pushing?

The brain.

I was writing a biology practical , as we dissected a sheeps brain on Friday.

And it got me thinking about my own bran. Mind.
How it functions and what it does.

I began thinking about all the things i do and why i do them. Because when i think of them now they seem kind of silly.

So i dug deeper in deeper into my thoughts and i came up with this analogy.

" The mind is the mother of the child - the heart. "

Think logically, parents do a lot for their children, like hold their hand to cross the road, make sure they clean their hands and eat enough food. At the time children don't understand why their parents do theres things. They don't know if they get hit by a  car they could die or fracture bones as well as mentally effecting the driver of the car and their family and friends. they do as they're told. They don't know that if the don't wash there hands that there are many microscopic disease causing bacteria that could make them sick and others around them. They do as they're told. They don't know that if they don';t eat they will be malnourished and have grow difficulties. They do as they are told.

Much like the heart, it doesn't know what its doing it does what it like feels what it wants, and the mind has to be there to look after it, because what parent wants to see their child hurt?

So in order to protect it, it does many things, that the heart does not understand ( much like a child) until they dig deeper and start asking questions.

The mind has so many automatic mechanisms  to protect the heart.

But you wot notice till you sit down and really reflect.

when you're sad
there are always cup cakes. . .

LOL jks i have none. . .  i have cups though. . . . .

so today just sucked .

you and me

the fact is you're stronger, more determined are wiser

and im just the stupid lamb,

that will get slaughtered .

that was it

got to hate how time changes things :(

Drugs...

Im such an addict. . . waiting 20 minutes for my next drug fix D:

Inner conflicts

Well yes ive neglected my blog for a  long time and opted to tumblr >.< SORRY~ but i gave away my tumblr password because im meant to be studyingg :/

But sighh :( i just need ot vent somethings beucase atm i feeel i have no one to tell , so i have to tell cyber space filled with randoms who probably dont care- but jhey better than no one?

Well today is last day of term..... :/ entering holidays filled with STUDY =_____= funfunfun.

but here are some of the things that have been floating in my head. . . .
1. HSC changes people
I see people changing because of HSC not everyone but lots of people are , like OFC everyone is studying harder but apart from that, peoples attitudes and behavior is changing. Sadly i dont liek these changes, i can feel one of bestest friends changing... difting :( and i dont know what to do i miss her :(  why does HSC ahve to do this to people? My friends also say I've changed, so much to tthe point that they have confronted me asking whats wrong, when really theres ntohgin wrong. But i feel myself changing, i dont excited as easily, and if i am i keep it reserved, and i feel no need to contribute in 'useless' conversations about movies or whatever becuase i just cant eb botherd. SO i zone out on my own thoughts thinking abotu school and other sutff in my life. . . the important stuff to me.

2. My brothers been gone 2 weeks now.
I haven't spoken to him at all, but im so engrossed in my own life atm, i dont even notice, and it makes me feel selfish and self centered, that i dont even miss him at all, i dont have an urge to text/ email him... and im his only sibling. Maybe Im just heartless and lazy.

3. Self discipline
While my most recent marks back havent been devastating they aren tthat great, and i find my self saying "ill study hard for trails." It feels everyone around me si liek "OH YOU HAVE TO STUDY, ITS YOUR HSC!" NO CRAP SHERLOCK !!!!!! IVE SPENT THREE TERMS LEARNING ALL THIS STUFF =____= and then i just get pissed off and don't want to work. great. just great.

4. Fun
I haven't had good fun for a long time, ive turned down to go to the movies today, i just want to go out and have fun. I have  party on Sunday , but i cant go that crazy, because i dont want my boyfriend to worry, and also i dont trust myself and id not want to do something ill regret or say something i dont mean. So yeahh im not sure how much fun ill have :/

7. Laziness
 I haven't talked to best friend for over a month, and i feel myself neglecting her :( but when she tries to talk to me im SOOO BUSY or just dont have the time and i really don't want us to drift apart :( but im scared we will :(

6. Is it possible to love TOO much?
Because at this moment i think it is very possible, and its happening to me right now. I can see myself increasing my dependence on them, becoming increasingly and increasingly clingy. With the strong feels comes intense concentrated emotions, so when things dont go EXACTLY how you expect, all these emotions hit you at once, and you feeel like crap , when you blow tiny things out of proportion, to the point you make both of you unhappy.sigh. what do i do? :( is it possible to unlove a little?

note: sorry of the typos, i left them in so represent the inner confusion of my mind, if you dont understand DW its my pointless ramblings anyways.

thanks for your time

GRRR.

Im so on edge these days :(

I have to make sure i dont do/ say anything ill regret

:(

Im jealous :(
I wish i was like you. . . . .

You have no idea. . . . .

Step back and breathe and see what you really want and why you want it.

depression.

For the past 2.5 weeks since school started Ive been feeling very depressed everyday. . . For a number of reasons.

1. My midcourse exam marks were crap =___= and i don't think my effort was rewarded
2. I didn't do enough work in the holidays
3. I have no money
4. its so cold
5. Missing youjee <3
6. Parents arent being very understanding
7. SO MUCH WORK TO DO
SO many future choices to worry about
8. the prospect of having no holidays till after HSC (nov 2nd)
9. and next week the last time ill see my love for a month (at least) :(

SO every morning im been waking up laterrr and going FUUCKKKK =___= when i realize what a crappy day its going to be :( and randomly crying when the slightest thing goes wrong.

Before i used to make my self get out of bed because i dont want to be late for school. . .  but now i dont even care anymore :(

Ive contemplated why all this crap is happening to me. . .  since 2010 was such a good year for me. . . .  and Ive thought about my actions and my sinns- think god is punishing me  . .  but i know the lord doesn't punish- but he thought is lingering.

But today i slowly crawled out of the hole - i cant say im myself again , but better slightly :) and i hope everyday i get better and better. . . . .

And thankyou to BILL ZHANG and CAROLYN LOH who have been shining rays of light in my darkest days, cheering me up <3

I love you .

Hold my hand? :)

This life don't last forever (hold my hand)
So tell me what we're waiting for (hold my hand)
We're better off being together (hold my hand)
Than being miserable alone (hold my hand)

Cause I've been there before
And you've been there before
But together we can be alright.
Cause when it gets dark and when it gets cold
We hold each other till we see the sunlight

So if you just hold my hand
Baby I promise that I'll do all I can
Things will get better if you just hold my hand
Nothing can come between us if you just hold,
Hold my, hold my, hold my hand.

The nights are getting darker (hold my hand)
And there's no peace inside (hold my hand)
So why make our lives harder (hold my hand)
By fighting love, tonight.

Cause I've been there before
And you've been there before
But together we can be alright (alright)
Cause when it gets dark and when it gets cold
We hold each other till we see the sunlight

So if you just hold my hand
Baby I promise that I'll do all I can
Things will get better if you just hold my hand
Nothing can come between us if you just hold,
Hold my, hold my, hold my hand.

I can tell you're tired of being lonely (yeahhh)
Take my hand don't let go baby hold me (hold mee)
Come to me and let me be your one and only (hold my haand)
So I can make it alright til' the morning (hold my hand)

I can tell you're tired of being lonely (hold my hand)
Take my hand don't let go baby hold me (hold mee)
Come to me and let me be your one and only (one and only)
So I can make it alright til' the morning (hold my hand)

Hold my hand, (yeah) baby,
I promise that I'll do all I can (hold my hand)
Things will get better if you just hold my hand
Nothing can come between us if you just hold,
Hold my, hold my, hold my hand.

Hold my hand, (yeah) baby,
I promise that I'll do all I can (hold my hand)
Things will get better if you just hold my hand
Nothing can come between us if you just hold,
Hold my, hold my, hold my hand.

My Love

Hai I you shang tian an Pai
Baby
I count 1 2 3
You say do re mi
Together we
Live for eternity.
Out hearts unite.
In this fight.
As we live
In a forever struggle
Where we must thrive
To keep each other alive!

. . . .

Floating in a  pool of the unknown. . . .

Reflection

Theres a moment where you look in the mirror and hate the person you see.

For you smarties 8)

By request of Carolyn Loh.
Credit to Lenny Andreev.

This or That

A few days ago i was walking around Parramatta shopping mall looking for new clothes, as my wardrobe is currently outdated. I walked into  gazillion shops and was DISGUSTED by the fashion this season it was so bad
=____= Luckily Sports Girl offered some refuge :) with quite a few nice but pricey items :)

So I thought i would offer some guidance for this chilly season.

Ladies

Tip 1.
 Get some Patterned stockings.

I am a massive personal fan with a quite extensive collection :)

I suggest go to sports girl or Glassons, for your stockings, i also highly recoomment the thicker "lace looking" ones, becuase they are much mroe durable than the finer ones, but look just as nice.


Tip 2
Get new boots :)

These wedge-like boots seem popular and im a  big fan :)

Fellas

Tip 1.
DON'T WEAR BLACK ALL THE TIME.

While black is a nice colour, dont make it the only colour for the season. No girl can resist a guy in white ;) however i understand due to its ability to get stained it can become troublesome, so why not try a grey or navy or brown? they are equally as sexy ;)

Or if you're game yellow or red ;)

Tip 2.
Get a nice scarf ;)

Oh DAYUM a man in a scarf- but make sure you don't wear it in a gay way :/ might send the wrong message :/ but i suggest a plain one :) and wrap it around your neck the again way, simply circling it around your neck and hide the ends of the scarf under the loops :)


Heehee happy shopping :D

weakness

Ive relised the past month Ive become increasingly weak.

In the past i was quite good at blocking out negative emotions, where only positive optimistic thoughts, and any negative thoughts wouldn't be buried and forgotten . I was happy.

But now i cat find my self letting these emotions get to me.
For example today i walked into a door. .  .  yeah it hurt as i hit my head and fell on my bum, but tears started to stream down my face. . . .my mum started at at in disbelief, and i was shocked, why were these warm droplets rolling down my face?  it didn't even hurt, and this was my front door, so hardly anyone saw it wasn't that humiliating...

And the other day i cried in front of my friends. . .  not my best friend but just friends in a public restaurant. . . . as i hid behind my hair and watched the tears drop off my chin onto my legs, only to get soaked up from my stockings. I knew how inappropriate it was to cry in such a public place. . .  but i just couldn't stop the tears.

Then i was watching a drama. . . .  I lauren lee the girl who would NEVER cry in movies would cry at every scene...... what is wrong with me?

Worries for my friends and misfortunes of others now make me teary as a few droplets of water roll down the side of my face...

I am no loner a emotional sieve, but now an emotional sponge.

However on an upside, Ive been happier than i ever have before :) where i go to sleep smiling looking forward to the future where worries such as HSC seem rather insignificant, as i have things to look forward to afterwards :D

Maybe im not an emotional robot anymore....

But its better this way... right?

With weakness comes strength

Fishing for love

On Monday i had a nice catchup with my friend :) on the train and she raised a very interesting point.

Im sure you've all heard of they saying

"There are plenty more fish in the sea"

If not heres a quick explanation:
Men are like fish. and when it doesn't work out with one guy, there will always be many more to choose from.

But then my friend expanded on this idea and said

"Sure there are many fish in the sea, but i caught a jellyfish"

This provoked some inner reflection, and what she was saying was very true.

Because when you're with that one special person, while you may still have guy friends and talk to them, ti so different. You see them all so differently, where those guy friends are mates you high five/ hug/ have fun with them .  Whereas your special someone is someone when you see them your heart lifts, and as long as you're with them everything is better, and when you hug you never want it to end.
This shows the clear division between "that" guy and your guys friends, even to the point where they are a different species.

Also that Jellyfish are delicate gentle creatures, ad so is your loved ones, where you want to look after this delicate treasure and nurture them :) Also that they are usual, and "different" from a crowd, unlike a more common fish.

However. . . . jellyfish can sting. . . . and hurt you badly to the very deepest parts of your heart.

As the conversation progressed she said something else.....

"Some people have bigger ponds than others"

Which again was another thought provoking statement.
Because you cant deny it there are features of a girl that make them more attractive to the opposite gender thus causing their ponds and the number of fish to increase.
These features include
- Physical beauty
- Optimistic attitude
- Good socialising skills
- Large web so social connections
- Materialistic belongings
- Interests
- Open personality
- Charisma
- Sense of humor
and the list goes on...
(however the things above are simply generalisations)

Therefore the more of these quality you obtain the larger your pond grows, maybe even become the ocean. But remember int he ocean there are sharks, so the larger your pond the more likely there will be eels, sharks or crocodiles, those guys that will get your heart and shush it :(

So be careful, while the number of fishes grow, so does the predators.

Let us hope there is a massive storm :) then all the ponds will grow and eventually flow into one another :) so everyone has the same number of fish to choose from :)

Happy fishing my girls <3

Sometimes its good to loose something, because you don't appreciate something till its gone.

Voiceless

3 hrs of kae...

Come home scream at rents...

Great... there goes my voice.

Reputation

Don't judge me :/

Don't relate to me like that.
Don't relate to anyone like that.

I'd like to think im open to other perspectives, i can't say i ALWAY consider all the perspectives , because like any human being i jump to conclusions :(

But we all make assumptions... comparing things to our own.

Example:

When i told my mum i was friends with people from Chatswood high school, my mum said they were highschool dropouts.

When my baulko friend told him mum he was friend with me and my friends from chelt, his mum assumed we were dug dealers.

These are such unfair assumptions.

So dont be just a gay arse. . . . and judge- because you're getting judged as we speak.

Strength

When you think you're finally strong enough. . . .

Something walks into your life and makes you weak again.

Braces

Appearances....... Such an important part of todays society....

There is currently much controversy concerning teenagers going under the knife for plastic surgery to enhance appearances.

But honestly i thin k braces are a form of plastic surgery, since you are artificially enhancing an individuals looks. Im sure there is like 2% of patients where there is a medical reason to why they have braces but for everyone else... tis all for show.

I have personally had braces and yes its VERY expensive, and not a very pleasant experience, and you must wear retainers for the rest of your life. However at the end of it if you ask me was it worth it? ill say yes.
All the...
pain
Sleepless nights
Money
Headaches
Toothaches

Were all worth it because my teeth are straight- and one step closer to perfection.

It has become a social norm to have PERFECTLY straight teeth, and i know some people with FAIRLY straight teeth- but they still get braces striving for perfection....

Do you see where our society is going? for now its only perfect teeth but soon it will be
perfect nose
perfect lips
perfect eyes
perfection in every aspect.....

And anything not perfect is repulsive.

Sometimes i feel sorry for the future generations,  we are advancing too fast, too fast for our own good.

Decisive

Ive decided ill become more decisive in the future . . . .  or will I?

Pros
- Ill set goals
- Save time
- Lead life my intuition
- Be self Driven

Cons
- Make irrational decisions
- Not properly analyses situations
- Becoming selfish

Now i dont  know what to do :(

UNREADABLE

It goes through my mind a  million times. . . . .

My Faults. . . .

We constantly try to be better people improve on who we are. . . . .
But somethings are just NON-FIXABLE

Like my inability to read emotions and thoughts... and my gullible attitude doesnt help the situation
When people are like "dw about it, im fine"
Three things run through my mind. . .
1. maybe they are fine?
2. they obviously dont want to talk to me abotu it
3. If i ask will i be annoying them? do they even want o share with me...

Even if they DO share with me , my lack of comforting skills often makes the sistuation worse. . .

SO i tend to "try" to comfort people by changing the subject try and cheer them up. . . . .

But sometimes this gets misread for ignorance and insensitivity:/

Ive been trying and trying . . . .  but i don't know what to do anymore. .

You dont know what you've got till tis gone

I finished exams 11 hours ago, and believe it or not- i actually wish i was still doing them.
because every little thought that entered my mind was immediately dismissed, since i wanted to focus on study.
But now every thought grows larger and larger as i ponder on the possibilities and perspectives
growing...

forgive.

Well The lord says to forgive yes?
And from a non-religious perspective you should as well

I think im quite a forgiving person, but i would forgive because it was the "Christian" thing or "right" thing to do, however ive come up with this reasoning (more logical) to why we should forgive.

There are two main points to this theory...

ONE.

If someone is genuinely sorry for their wrongs you should forgive? since why obviously regret their doings, and everyone makes mistakes, and if they are truly sorry it means they feel bad for what they've done and they have been punished enough. If they are sorry it means the put your relationship over their pride, and forgiveness only seems fair?

TWO.

This part of the theory is slightly more complex

What if they DON'T ask for your forgiveness? - you still forgive?

Because everyone has a  conscience that tells us whats rights and wrong, if someone has done the wrong thing and doesn't feel they are in the wrong is it REALLY their fault? Its like blaming a child for doing the wrong thing, when they didn't know the rules to being with. So if these people do not see how they are wrong and ultimately have no conscience, can we really cast them outsiders? because they simply do no possess empathy and compassion? not that im recommending you to make them your best friend , but we still should forgive their wrongs, like all people should

So go into the world and forgive :)
Because if you do not forgive, your holding onto the past, and you're past will forever be your future.

GUESS WHOSE BACK?

Lauren back after about 1 months of nerding :)
get readyy for heapps of blogs ;)

365 days

Happy one yr Edward Chan :)

Yus April 2nd 2010 the day "it" started :)

 All our massive texting frenzies :)

The memories ill treasure forever

lots of love xx
Lauren

note to self dont fall sleep on your calculator =__=

Dear Bill Zhang

Sometimes i think you know everything there is to know about me. .
what i think
what i do

Youre probably so confused right now...

Just wait

You'll understand in time :)
 

Study

While im learning and studying galvanic cells, genetics, and exchange rates... i cant even learn the basics to life :(

I must be more observant !

Never mind

Sigh taking a break form my hectic math schedule :/
WHY DID THE LORD NOT BLESS ME WITH AN ASIAN BRAIN?

Anyways you know what?

this can wait . . . .

Sorry to disappoint

I blog heaps after the exams to make up for it ^^
*returns to math

GOOD LUCK FOR EXAMS <3

Conflict thoery

Tralalalallalala
perspectives.

everyone has perspectives on different issues and different views.

I was leanring in SAC about the cuases of change and one thoery was the conflict thoery.

Basically when the underclass overturns the elite of the society.

But if you think deaper... why does this occur?

Beucase ultimately the two parties do not belive int he sameideas, or cannot see each others perspectives,

Like any human being i have flaws

and one of my most prominent is my inability to confort people in time of sadness.

In general i find myself quite ptimistic adn chirpy

so when someone comes ot be with a massive dehlemmah i know know what to say or how to reacted all i can do is give them a hug, but if tey're on the hpone or msn hats not possible.

So it scares me when i upset people, becuas ei know i wont be able to comfort them properly and provide the intenede support.

hence the cuase of my submissive persona, tryingt o aviod my flaws, and ultimately avioding conflict.

To You

Fucking douchebag :/

Psychopathic bitch

Fag

Wannabe Slut

Bitch.


Pimp

Fucking Bitch


In essence these words have no meaning..
no meaning till someone important to you uses them

You may have forgotten you've said it...

but i haven't . . . . .

And now it haunts me always . . . . .

Futures

Yesterday afternoon we had a representative form the university of western sydney come to our school.
This really got me thinking about the future.
And what  i want to do with my life.

Because no one takes me seriously when i say "Professional husband pleaser"

because thats what i want to do... Make my spouse happy everyday :) (NO SEXUAL CONNOTATIONS HERE)

But with the growing financial pressure of society- i have to do something more than that.

I believe there are 6 broad areas areas of uni
1. Arts
2. Science
3. Design
4. Business
5. IT
6. Engineering

And most courses roughly fit into those categories.

Through my lifetime quite a few people have suggest professions for me, but they vary greatly

-Dancer
People say i have the stature for a dancer. . . .
1. I CANT DANCE
2. That occupation is too physically straining on the body :(

- Fashion design
Now while i like fashion im not a very good "trend setter" and thats what fashion designers have to be, plus i cant sew for crap.

- Someone in the business profession- working for  a large company for firm
This was originally an idea i stuck with for a while - but im not so sure anymore :/ because i dont want to spend everyday backstabbing people and have such a materialistic based job.

- Primary school teacher
WELL I DONT KNOW WHERE YOU GOT THAT FROM?!?? but hmmm :/


Every profession ive considered poeple are liek "there are no jobs" WELL THESE NOT JOBS FOR ANY OCCUPATIONS UNLESS YOURE A
1. lawyer
2. doctor
3. dentist
4. accountant

WELL DONT THOSE OPTIONS SOUND SO FASCINATING AND POSSIBLE?!?!?
 =_____=

I think for now i shall stick to husband pleaser (Y)

LAUREN LEE.

I love you <3

NESSA :D

DEDICATED TO THE BEAUTIFUL NESSA NGUYEN.

Nessa Nessa Nessa Nessa
Would you like to to take a Guessa
to who is this wonderful Vanessa?

She Likes to nomnomnom chilled grapes that are green
April 7th is the big day she'll turn eight-teen

She tells Stories of pirates and mushrooms
And i hope to see you really soonnn :)

Love you nessa nguyen <3

Love confession from lauren lee to nessa nguyen :$

Greetings

Hello there ac :D

I appreciate your dedication to my blog :D

Constant annoyance

Those little things that keep you awake at night.
You ask yourself WHY DO I EVEN CARE? =____=

However they continue to float in your mind.

Troublesome worries.

Complete.

The satisfaction when you finish something <3

And you can close it for the last time and think

" I'm so proud"

♥.

You are my Prince.

Us girls are so lucky these days :)
The things guys do for us <3

Here are few of very sweet examples i have heard of lately
(note not all these people were in relationships - some were simply friends)

Example One

The girl left you lunch box at her spot- hence lost it. She was kind of annoyed since she knew her mum would rage at her for losing it :( The next day a guy gives her back the back the box- and shes like " you found my lu....." untill she realises he bought her a brand new one. One the top he drew  a picture of a ninja :) because thats what they draw together in Japanese class :) and as she opens the lunch box inside is a note " Will you be ______'s formal date?" :3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Example Two

The girlsa is ont he phone with the guy late into the night
Girl: " mann i wish i had some miso soup and ramen right now....."
Guy: " I only have packet ramen and packe miso soup" .
Girl: "THATS FINE- i expect it at 10am tomorrow when i wake up" (jokingly of course)

- next morning-

Girl gets a text from the guy " breakfast is served on the balcony"
She looks out and there is ramen/ miso soup/ green tea waiting for her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

:) The sweet things guys do for us :$

♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.

Day 22

WAHHH :'( i thought you were coming back today :( but i turns out your coming tomorrow T^T

One extra day cant hurt?

TUMBLR- has gotten the better of me :/

Yes Lauren has tumblr :)

feel free to go look ~

http://rawrren.tumblr.com/

I will still be using my blogspot for a little while longer - but ill soon phase it out :) and you can go to my tumblr for all my random rantss :3

PS. Sorry for its noobness :/

Happy Valentines day :)

How is lauren lee spending valentines day? 

At home

in front of the computer

In her pyjamas :)

Here are the events of my morning so far: 

1. So i start my day and wake up at 9:30 and see the following text..... 

 

And im like Ngawwwww <3

immediately puts me in a  good mood :) 

2. I then get up and look in my diary to see what i have to do for today :3 

  

WAHH such good plans <3 puts me in  a even better mood

3. I got to do my usual thing and turn on the computer- but whats infront of the computer desk? 

 

♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.

How sweet :3

Im guessing its from my brother :/

he said he'd get me one -but i thought he was joking :3

So puts me in EVEN  a better mood  

4. When im admiring my valentines gift i get another text <3 

 

So nice to hear from my lesbian loverrr :3  

so at this point im in a  a REALLYY GOOD MOOOD :D

5. Then *buzz buzz* I get another rather unexpected text <3 

  

They say valentines day is a day where a girl should feel special <3 and i Do thanks to my family and friends :)

I used to think i spent every valentines alone- and i thought it would just another one of those.

Since my special someone is overseas- but i realisied Im always surrounded by the love from my friends

Thank you guys for making my valentines day the best ever <3 

♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.

A note for Bill Zhang - You have also made my valentines day :3

Because now i have that someone special to think of on the 14th of February :)

Love you lots ^o^ 

So everyone GOOOOOOO AND SPREAD THE LOVE  ♥.

Happy Valentines to the single/ taken/  lonely/ confused/ independent/ attached/ widowed/ uninterested ect.. . . .

BECAUSE SOMEONE LOVES YOU :) and be thankful for that :) 

Day 21

GG

HAHAHAHAHAHA thats exactly what i did before i read the caption ;)

I know where all you are looking ;)

Conflicting messages

I get annoyed at people who say all these opposing ideas just to confuse you :/

Eg: Its thier birthday and you ask them what they want
1. they say - I want something meaningful that will make me laugh :)
2. Hence you go out buy something rather silly and meaningful to your both- this may not be very expensive, but the amount of thought may be immense.
3. They say ACTUALLY i really want a new pair of nike shoes. . . .
4.  WHAT DO YOU DO NOW?

Your options. . .
1. Just go out and buy the nike shoes and chuck the first gift.
2. buy the nike shoes give them both presents
3. Ceebs with the shoes and give them what they originally asked.
4. say SCREW THIS and they get nothing.

If you dont know its okay t o say " I dont know" cost that means the person wont do anything just yet- in case you think of something later.

If your friend changes their mind its always easy to just "exchange" r "refund" the gift- but many for get the MENTAL LABOR put into thinking of a gift where to buy it to even how to wrap it :/

I often lie in bed and thing of things in my head which i am supposed to write in a  card.

I know some people do this subconsciously and i may have even done this a few times.
But try and keep this in mind? and be considerate fo your fellow friends <3
Because in the end all they want to do is make you happy at the end of the day.

This next section is dedicated to a dear friend of mine <3

Another thing i would like to address is GUILT!
some people feel so guilty when they receive presents. . . . . .
and sometimes im like WHYY?!?!?!?!
Honestly i never feel guilty he i receive presents- embarrassed sure but not guilty. Say someone gives me a badass present for my bday and i didn't give them anything, in my mind im like " well their gonna get one badass present on their birthday" SIMPLE. what with all this guilt stuff. SO MAN UP AND TAKE THE PRESENT.
because:

1. You're making the other person feel bad if you feel guilty
2. If you SAY you feel guilty they may throw away/ discard your gift
3. It maybe hinder them from giving you presents in the future

And if you feel "guilty" accepting presents WHY DID YOU TELL ME IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY IN THE FIRST PLACE? @___@

utterly confusing. . . . .

So in the future let's exchange guilt-free/ confusion-free gifts? :3
 

Day 20

 

2 more days :3 

Competitive Streak.

My parents are quite competitive and one thing they COMPETE about is SHOPPING.

They like to go shopping of groceries and what-not, and when they return they TRY to prove to each other that they got the " better deal" compared to the other. So they inspect the quality of the food and the price- comparing at whose the better "shopper". As you've guessed we get heaps of double ups where they compete for who bought "the cheaper grapes"
So now i have a fridge full of grapes (Y)

Gosh my parents need some hobbies :/

" I am a white crayon, before i met you i was utterly useless. But now I've found you - my black paper, i can turn my life into a masterpiece  ♥."

Day 19

Absolute Vextion

Dear, Those Asian girls that try and "act" all cutesy, and stuff :/

Pouting their lips out and opening their eyes massively every time a guy looks in their direction as they hold their hands over their mouth and make various over exaggerated facial expressions.
An act when you
- eat
- talk
- walk

If you're not putting on an act you have some serious metal issues :/

Can you not?

Thanks.
Lauren .

Day 18

 

 3 more days :3 

Day 17

Day 16

Day 15

Colours of the rainbow

SORRY TO ALL! for all the "miss you posts" heres another nice break from them :D

So Everyone has their favorite colour- and like in art you know how everyone analyses colours in art and everything and i collated everyone i knew and their favorite colours and i found quite a similar trend- with peoples favorite color and personalities.

Red
- Highly intelligent
- Somewhat aggressive


Orange
- Determined
- Hyperactive

Yellow
- Optimistic
- Highly ethical


Green
- Calm
- Indifferent
- Wise

Blue
- Boring (SORRY TO THOSE WHO LIKE BLUE I STILL LOVE YOU)
- Extremely loyal


Pink 
- Easily excited
- Forgives easily


Purple
- Makes friends easily
- Somewhat silly

Thats just what i thought - obviously thats not always the case :) but realistically WE ALL HAVE THOSE CHARACTERISTICS :D

So every single one of us is a rainbow ♥.

Day 14

 

You sent me a personalized blog <3 

i feel special :D 

Day 13

 

Don't they say "nothing is impossible?" ;) 

Opposites attract

Im a  MASSIVE believer of opposites attract
- there are so many advantages of being in a  relationship/ friendship with someone completely different to yourself

Example 1. 
They hate eating avocado.
You love eating avocado.
They order sushi with avocado.
GUESS WHO GETS DOUBLE PORTIONS OF AVOCADO? ;)


Example 2.
They don't like Strapless tops.
You love strapless tops.
GUESS WHO GETS A FREE STRAPLESS TOP? ;)

Example 3.
They don't like Sporty guys.
You love sporty guys.
They have a sporty guy best friend.
GUESS WHO GETS A HOT SPORTY BOYFRIEND? ;)

See it all works out yes? ;)

Obviously now you are thinking what about on and outing when you want o see a movie and you cant decided on one?

" A friend can make ANYTHING absolute fun" 

SO whatever you see should be fun :D and also, friends should hang otu with you becuase they care abotu you a lot. If you liked EXACTLY the same things then... they might just be hanging out with you for other motives or simply because you are "fun".
So there should always be self sacrifice in friendship/ relationships - to show you care.

However there are always exceptions twins attract to :)
I shall take this opportunity to honor my TWINNIE YOUJEE SHIN <3
LOVE YOU :)

We are so twin like we are one person <3

You may become best friends with the people you least expect.

BLACK

You know you're tanned when your foundation is no longer the right tone :/

mine used to be a little too dark... NOW ITS TOO LIGHT :/ =___= im so dark :/

peaceeee

We all complain that we are discriminated against- racist people. or people that just dislike you FULLSTOP

but isn't it sooo nice when someone favors you :)
And you feel special because your their favorite :D

How i feel everyday :/ 

♥.♥.♥.♥.♥

Day 12

 

ONLY 8 MORE DAYS :D

missing you <3 

Day 11

So many things bothering me...

Parents

School

Weather

But some how they all end up to be - me thinking of you :)

HALFWAY :) DAY 10

And i Miss it :(

I miss you

But it was so niceeeeee to hear your voice again :3

Feels like its been an eternity :/

Do you get chinese new year wishes?

If so... mines for you ♥

Day 9 :)

LOL Yes completely guilty :)

Day 8

 

Day 8 :)

I hope you are having fun where ever you are :)

miss you . 

:)

Maybe things will work out after all ♥.

BARGAIN!

You lonely this valentines?
Tired of being alone?
Want some company?


WELL I HAVE THE SOLUTION FOR YOU !!!!!!


HIRE LAUREN LEE :) TO BE YOUR VALENTINES :)


all it will cost you is....


TO LOVE HER WITH ALL YOUR HEART ♥.

To you :)

 Since she loves my quotes - this is dedicated to my dear beautiful friend ALICIA PENG ♥.

"Someone special is someone that is with you on special days. Someone that is absolutely extraordinary is one that is with you everyday of your life ♥. "

I see you 5 days a week, but the times im PHYSICALLY not with you- i know i can always text you, and you'll be there for me :3

Love you :)

Day 7

 

Distance = 7,357 km

Time = 20 days 

Love = ETERNAL

Sighhh didn't get to talk to you again =___= had to gym.... even though its sooo hot :/ 

Wow... now i remember why  schools crap :/

i have survived the first day :) only 154 days to go! 

MISSING YOU :)

Time to RING UP ;)

 

My newest rings <3 

Painted green just for you <3

Notice whats in the background? ;)

A certain "lauren train" and

typo clock? :) 

 

L-O-V-E 

 

IF SOMEONE BUYS ME THIS ILL LOVE YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY <3 

 

Rings + BLING

OMG MY TWO FAVORITE THINGS MUSHHHED INTO ONE! 

 

I WANT~ to infinity and beyond <3 

 

WANTWANTWANT