weakness

Ive relised the past month Ive become increasingly weak.

In the past i was quite good at blocking out negative emotions, where only positive optimistic thoughts, and any negative thoughts wouldn't be buried and forgotten . I was happy.

But now i cat find my self letting these emotions get to me.
For example today i walked into a door. .  .  yeah it hurt as i hit my head and fell on my bum, but tears started to stream down my face. . . .my mum started at at in disbelief, and i was shocked, why were these warm droplets rolling down my face?  it didn't even hurt, and this was my front door, so hardly anyone saw it wasn't that humiliating...

And the other day i cried in front of my friends. . .  not my best friend but just friends in a public restaurant. . . . as i hid behind my hair and watched the tears drop off my chin onto my legs, only to get soaked up from my stockings. I knew how inappropriate it was to cry in such a public place. . .  but i just couldn't stop the tears.

Then i was watching a drama. . . .  I lauren lee the girl who would NEVER cry in movies would cry at every scene...... what is wrong with me?

Worries for my friends and misfortunes of others now make me teary as a few droplets of water roll down the side of my face...

I am no loner a emotional sieve, but now an emotional sponge.

However on an upside, Ive been happier than i ever have before :) where i go to sleep smiling looking forward to the future where worries such as HSC seem rather insignificant, as i have things to look forward to afterwards :D

Maybe im not an emotional robot anymore....

But its better this way... right?

With weakness comes strength