My Love

Hai I you shang tian an Pai
Baby
I count 1 2 3
You say do re mi
Together we
Live for eternity.
Out hearts unite.
In this fight.
As we live
In a forever struggle
Where we must thrive
To keep each other alive!

. . . .

Floating in a  pool of the unknown. . . .

Reflection

Theres a moment where you look in the mirror and hate the person you see.

For you smarties 8)

By request of Carolyn Loh.
Credit to Lenny Andreev.

This or That

A few days ago i was walking around Parramatta shopping mall looking for new clothes, as my wardrobe is currently outdated. I walked into  gazillion shops and was DISGUSTED by the fashion this season it was so bad
=____= Luckily Sports Girl offered some refuge :) with quite a few nice but pricey items :)

So I thought i would offer some guidance for this chilly season.

Ladies

Tip 1.
 Get some Patterned stockings.

I am a massive personal fan with a quite extensive collection :)

I suggest go to sports girl or Glassons, for your stockings, i also highly recoomment the thicker "lace looking" ones, becuase they are much mroe durable than the finer ones, but look just as nice.


Tip 2
Get new boots :)

These wedge-like boots seem popular and im a  big fan :)

Fellas

Tip 1.
DON'T WEAR BLACK ALL THE TIME.

While black is a nice colour, dont make it the only colour for the season. No girl can resist a guy in white ;) however i understand due to its ability to get stained it can become troublesome, so why not try a grey or navy or brown? they are equally as sexy ;)

Or if you're game yellow or red ;)

Tip 2.
Get a nice scarf ;)

Oh DAYUM a man in a scarf- but make sure you don't wear it in a gay way :/ might send the wrong message :/ but i suggest a plain one :) and wrap it around your neck the again way, simply circling it around your neck and hide the ends of the scarf under the loops :)


Heehee happy shopping :D

weakness

Ive relised the past month Ive become increasingly weak.

In the past i was quite good at blocking out negative emotions, where only positive optimistic thoughts, and any negative thoughts wouldn't be buried and forgotten . I was happy.

But now i cat find my self letting these emotions get to me.
For example today i walked into a door. .  .  yeah it hurt as i hit my head and fell on my bum, but tears started to stream down my face. . . .my mum started at at in disbelief, and i was shocked, why were these warm droplets rolling down my face?  it didn't even hurt, and this was my front door, so hardly anyone saw it wasn't that humiliating...

And the other day i cried in front of my friends. . .  not my best friend but just friends in a public restaurant. . . . as i hid behind my hair and watched the tears drop off my chin onto my legs, only to get soaked up from my stockings. I knew how inappropriate it was to cry in such a public place. . .  but i just couldn't stop the tears.

Then i was watching a drama. . . .  I lauren lee the girl who would NEVER cry in movies would cry at every scene...... what is wrong with me?

Worries for my friends and misfortunes of others now make me teary as a few droplets of water roll down the side of my face...

I am no loner a emotional sieve, but now an emotional sponge.

However on an upside, Ive been happier than i ever have before :) where i go to sleep smiling looking forward to the future where worries such as HSC seem rather insignificant, as i have things to look forward to afterwards :D

Maybe im not an emotional robot anymore....

But its better this way... right?

With weakness comes strength

Fishing for love

On Monday i had a nice catchup with my friend :) on the train and she raised a very interesting point.

Im sure you've all heard of they saying

"There are plenty more fish in the sea"

If not heres a quick explanation:
Men are like fish. and when it doesn't work out with one guy, there will always be many more to choose from.

But then my friend expanded on this idea and said

"Sure there are many fish in the sea, but i caught a jellyfish"

This provoked some inner reflection, and what she was saying was very true.

Because when you're with that one special person, while you may still have guy friends and talk to them, ti so different. You see them all so differently, where those guy friends are mates you high five/ hug/ have fun with them .  Whereas your special someone is someone when you see them your heart lifts, and as long as you're with them everything is better, and when you hug you never want it to end.
This shows the clear division between "that" guy and your guys friends, even to the point where they are a different species.

Also that Jellyfish are delicate gentle creatures, ad so is your loved ones, where you want to look after this delicate treasure and nurture them :) Also that they are usual, and "different" from a crowd, unlike a more common fish.

However. . . . jellyfish can sting. . . . and hurt you badly to the very deepest parts of your heart.

As the conversation progressed she said something else.....

"Some people have bigger ponds than others"

Which again was another thought provoking statement.
Because you cant deny it there are features of a girl that make them more attractive to the opposite gender thus causing their ponds and the number of fish to increase.
These features include
- Physical beauty
- Optimistic attitude
- Good socialising skills
- Large web so social connections
- Materialistic belongings
- Interests
- Open personality
- Charisma
- Sense of humor
and the list goes on...
(however the things above are simply generalisations)

Therefore the more of these quality you obtain the larger your pond grows, maybe even become the ocean. But remember int he ocean there are sharks, so the larger your pond the more likely there will be eels, sharks or crocodiles, those guys that will get your heart and shush it :(

So be careful, while the number of fishes grow, so does the predators.

Let us hope there is a massive storm :) then all the ponds will grow and eventually flow into one another :) so everyone has the same number of fish to choose from :)

Happy fishing my girls <3

Sometimes its good to loose something, because you don't appreciate something till its gone.

Voiceless

3 hrs of kae...

Come home scream at rents...

Great... there goes my voice.

Reputation

Don't judge me :/

Don't relate to me like that.
Don't relate to anyone like that.

I'd like to think im open to other perspectives, i can't say i ALWAY consider all the perspectives , because like any human being i jump to conclusions :(

But we all make assumptions... comparing things to our own.

Example:

When i told my mum i was friends with people from Chatswood high school, my mum said they were highschool dropouts.

When my baulko friend told him mum he was friend with me and my friends from chelt, his mum assumed we were dug dealers.

These are such unfair assumptions.

So dont be just a gay arse. . . . and judge- because you're getting judged as we speak.

Strength

When you think you're finally strong enough. . . .

Something walks into your life and makes you weak again.

Braces

Appearances....... Such an important part of todays society....

There is currently much controversy concerning teenagers going under the knife for plastic surgery to enhance appearances.

But honestly i thin k braces are a form of plastic surgery, since you are artificially enhancing an individuals looks. Im sure there is like 2% of patients where there is a medical reason to why they have braces but for everyone else... tis all for show.

I have personally had braces and yes its VERY expensive, and not a very pleasant experience, and you must wear retainers for the rest of your life. However at the end of it if you ask me was it worth it? ill say yes.
All the...
pain
Sleepless nights
Money
Headaches
Toothaches

Were all worth it because my teeth are straight- and one step closer to perfection.

It has become a social norm to have PERFECTLY straight teeth, and i know some people with FAIRLY straight teeth- but they still get braces striving for perfection....

Do you see where our society is going? for now its only perfect teeth but soon it will be
perfect nose
perfect lips
perfect eyes
perfection in every aspect.....

And anything not perfect is repulsive.

Sometimes i feel sorry for the future generations,  we are advancing too fast, too fast for our own good.

Decisive

Ive decided ill become more decisive in the future . . . .  or will I?

Pros
- Ill set goals
- Save time
- Lead life my intuition
- Be self Driven

Cons
- Make irrational decisions
- Not properly analyses situations
- Becoming selfish

Now i dont  know what to do :(

UNREADABLE

It goes through my mind a  million times. . . . .

My Faults. . . .

We constantly try to be better people improve on who we are. . . . .
But somethings are just NON-FIXABLE

Like my inability to read emotions and thoughts... and my gullible attitude doesnt help the situation
When people are like "dw about it, im fine"
Three things run through my mind. . .
1. maybe they are fine?
2. they obviously dont want to talk to me abotu it
3. If i ask will i be annoying them? do they even want o share with me...

Even if they DO share with me , my lack of comforting skills often makes the sistuation worse. . .

SO i tend to "try" to comfort people by changing the subject try and cheer them up. . . . .

But sometimes this gets misread for ignorance and insensitivity:/

Ive been trying and trying . . . .  but i don't know what to do anymore. .

You dont know what you've got till tis gone

I finished exams 11 hours ago, and believe it or not- i actually wish i was still doing them.
because every little thought that entered my mind was immediately dismissed, since i wanted to focus on study.
But now every thought grows larger and larger as i ponder on the possibilities and perspectives
growing...

forgive.

Well The lord says to forgive yes?
And from a non-religious perspective you should as well

I think im quite a forgiving person, but i would forgive because it was the "Christian" thing or "right" thing to do, however ive come up with this reasoning (more logical) to why we should forgive.

There are two main points to this theory...

ONE.

If someone is genuinely sorry for their wrongs you should forgive? since why obviously regret their doings, and everyone makes mistakes, and if they are truly sorry it means they feel bad for what they've done and they have been punished enough. If they are sorry it means the put your relationship over their pride, and forgiveness only seems fair?

TWO.

This part of the theory is slightly more complex

What if they DON'T ask for your forgiveness? - you still forgive?

Because everyone has a  conscience that tells us whats rights and wrong, if someone has done the wrong thing and doesn't feel they are in the wrong is it REALLY their fault? Its like blaming a child for doing the wrong thing, when they didn't know the rules to being with. So if these people do not see how they are wrong and ultimately have no conscience, can we really cast them outsiders? because they simply do no possess empathy and compassion? not that im recommending you to make them your best friend , but we still should forgive their wrongs, like all people should

So go into the world and forgive :)
Because if you do not forgive, your holding onto the past, and you're past will forever be your future.

GUESS WHOSE BACK?

Lauren back after about 1 months of nerding :)
get readyy for heapps of blogs ;)

365 days

Happy one yr Edward Chan :)

Yus April 2nd 2010 the day "it" started :)

 All our massive texting frenzies :)

The memories ill treasure forever

lots of love xx
Lauren